Ah, look at all the lonely people

Ah, look at all the lonely people

A dearest friend living on his own in an exotic island intensely struggled through the lockdown. A lockdown more oppressive than the UK, but perhaps not as draconian as South Africa…

This post is dedicated to people who believe they are alone, feel lonely; to help those discover their worth in a lonely world.

The loneliness stems from living unauthentically. It becomes lonelier when others aren’t able to live authentically and be truthful about who they are and their motives.

A dichotomy in life? Be brave enough to reject a lie, no matter what is at stake. If you can’t live honestly and aren’t respected for it, then how can it ever be worth it, whatever ‘it’ may be?

Can anything ever be worth going against yourself and your values?


“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.”

“You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.”


3 Replies to “Ah, look at all the lonely people”

  1. Dear Cressida,

    As usual, a deeply thoughtful post from you. A good job you did not send it by snail mail, I have not had any post since mid-March. Yes, I was marooned on my paradise island and I missed the freedom to go wherever I wanted to and the company of other acquaintances. It felt so false to queue for hours in the midday sun, wearing a mask, talking to no one, 1 metre apart for the food that was available in the shops two times a week.

    However, with the time to reflect on the past, present and future I found myself regretting my mistakes but at least I tried and now I do not make the same mistakes again. I do crave to meet the special people in my life, those who have been there for me in difficult times and those who have been with me in stratospheric highs I had never experienced before.

    I am my true self and I am honest with myself and, whether locked down or free, I can be lonely but, fuck, its been a hell of a journey.

    After lockdown the thing I wanted to do the most was to be free to wander wherever I wanted and I did. I thought I would want to meet people but I did not. I hiked alone and spent the day in nature. I devoured the fresh air, the green fields and tall trees around, the sound of the birds, the wind and the sun on face, arms and legs. I shared all the feelings with me. It was good. Very good.

    Your quotes are thought provoking, Cressida, but I am surprised there are none from Johnny Ox.

    “They wanted me to live in the real world, but, to me, it seemed the most fake place on earth”

    I have thought the new normal, as we now are supposed to call it, is very fake, because many people do not have the courage to be themselves but to instead show a someone they feel they should be to get attention, love, affection.

    How really could I ever be lonely with a dear friend like you, Cressida?


    (That would be a good song)

    1. Dearest Tarquin,

      Thank you for appreciating the thoughtfulness of my post.

      I couldn’t tell you when last I used snail-mail… Who does these days? I don’t even get a Birthday card from my parents in the post any more. Oh, how the times are changing!

      I do not pretend to imagine what you must have endured under such severe restrictions. UK’s lockdown pales in comparison.

      Fortunately, unlike most, I enjoyed being ‘forced’ to rest, to take time out from everything. I spend most of my time working from home and only ever went out to meet a few friends occasionally. What I did miss was being able to return ‘home’ to see my family over Easter. But knowing what was happening to those impoverished around the country created a more humbling experience.

      You mean to tell me, you have learned, finally learned from your mistakes. May I be the judge of that, Tarquin? If you dare, of course. I think you need more than the use of your ‘good eye!’

      You hit the nail… ‘fuck, it’s been a hell of a journey.’ Everything about life is a journey, not a destination. Embrace it, accept the suffering and feel the impermanence. You have the first-hand experience with this one… When the love of your life left you, you didn’t fall apart in the end. She helped you gain even more strength. What a woman!

      I already have the words to the ‘good song’ titled ‘Tarquin’s Impossible.’

      Thank you for appreciating our friendship.

  2. Dear Cressida,

    Thank you for your heartfelt and heartwarming reply, I am truly lucky to have such a trusting, respectful and supportive relationship with you. However, that may be challenged a little when you reveal the lyrics to ‘Tarquin’s Impossible’.


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