Lying is the royal road to chaos

Lying is the royal road to chaos

Someone I am close to recommended reading Lying by Sam Harris. It changed my life, she’d said.

I am always ready for a life changer. Bring it on!

A few hours later, I punched in my credit card details online and bought the book. Three days later it arrived.

I waited for the right moment before I devoured the book.


“Among the many paradoxes of human life, this is perhaps the most peculiar and consequential: We often behave in ways that are guaranteed to make us unhappy. Many of us spend our lives marching with open eyes towards remorse, regret, guilt, and disappointment. And nowhere do our injuries seem more casually self-inflicted, or the suffering we create more disproportionate to the needs of the moment than in the lies we tell to other human beings. Lying is the royal road to chaos.”


Each page resonated with me, deep within. I realised where the chaos in my life stemmed from. Why I had been so conflicted. I tried, not always successfully, to be honest with people. However, people didn’t always appreciate the truth. This sometimes alienated me from others. It caused hurt when I told an ex-lover or family member that I didn’t appreciate their gift. Well, I appreciated the thought but it wasn’t something I’d wear or use. Please do give it to someone who may… Yet, whenever doing this I felt like the baddie. Despite how tender I delivered the ‘blow’. I knew when people weren’t honest and I allowed it to cause me distress.

By the time I’d finished reading Lying, a few hours later, I was able to hold my head up high, walk taller and enter the next phase of my life pledging to live honestly, without feeling bad about myself for doing what I expect of others.  This went as far as looking at myself and facing the choices I’ve made and need to make now and in the future.

A breath of fresh air; air so fresh it filled me with life and floored me at the same time.


“By lying, we deny others a view of the world as it is. Our dishonesty not only influences the choices they make, it often determines the choices they can make—and in ways, we cannot always predict. Every lie is a direct assault upon the autonomy of those we lie to.”


“Lying is, almost by definition, a refusal to cooperate with others. It condenses a lack of trust and trustworthiness into a single act. It is both a failure of understanding and an unwillingness to be understood. To lie is to recoil from a relationship.”


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