Signed and sealed…

Signed and sealed…

Done and dusted…

Has there ever been a time in your life when you have felt as though something heavy is weighing you down, and no matter what you do – your hobbies, passions – it doesn’t completely lift the load from your bones?

This has been me for months. I have tried everything to lift the heaviness, by doing things that bring me pleasure whenever possible and changing my mindset. Still, it didn’t help, it did so temporarily but who wants temporary in their lives at any time?

Not me.

I desire excitement, adventure, the unknown. I have always wanted to live every moment to the fullest, and I know that is the furthest thing I am doing while doing what I have been doing these last few months – 6 months to be exact.

Work, my job, no longer fulfils me the way it used to. After the 4th major restructure and having been moved to another division, it is finally time for me to move on, to explore avenues never before discovered and return to being a gipsy until I feel it is time to settle again. Will this time ever be upon thee?

Yesterday I resigned.

While in a meeting with the new boss, the conversation took a heated turn and unexpectedly I verbally spoke about needing a change. Immediately after the meeting, I returned to my desk, printed the already drafted resignation letter, signed it, scanned it and emailed it to two people that needed to know. Short and sweet, stating the notice period and thanking for opportunities afforded. But when they stop being afforded then it is the right time…

The paper felt as though it was about to catch alight. The heat oozing from each letter would have powered the whole of South Africa, solving Eskom’s load-shedding problems for at least a week. If only! If only the government could do what they are paid to do. Did you know that Zuma, South Africa’s president, is the 4th top earner in government around the world? Oh dear! A slight digression. This is definitely another story, another time. Forgive me, please!

A rumble in the distance; lightning streaking across the Indian Ocean; raindrops splashing on to the decking of the balcony, spraying the lounge tiles, getting heavier with each drop; the fresh smell of rain, stirring the salty sea; the wind wailing through the balcony doors – a sub-tropical storm directly above, feeling as deadly as a cyclone.

There was definitely no calm before this storm.

I don’t think there ever will be calm when a life fills with adventure. Or perhaps the adventure that accompanies something that’s been desired for so long will induce a type of calm that’s been missing all this time; could one refer to this as an oxymoron?

Finally, I feel lighter, so much lighter with just the thought of knowing I will be free to do as I please when and wherever I please. The shackles are melting…searing and igniting a fire within.

And this is less than 24 hours of such an action.

 

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