Surprise contact

Surprise contact

A WhatsApp message pings through from an ex-lover, about 5 lovers ago. A surprise indeed.


He thought of me today when purchasing a bag of Chinese White-Rabbit sweets that he first introduced me to a few years ago. The delightful little morsels became a mild addiction for a short time – thank goodness.


A few hours later another message sounds through and he addresses it, “Hey deserter!” He wants to know what I have planned for my apartment and motorcar now that I’m en route to the tropical life.


After engaging and letting him know of my plans, he asks if I will ever be returning home for good or had I met the man of my dreams.


I didn’t quite get what meeting the man of my dreams and not returning home had to do with each other. So, if I have met the man of my dreams I ought not to return and should follow him wherever he travels? What about he returning with me? I did not enquire of such as I am certain his statement is harmless.


After briefly explaining my situation and that my boyfriend and I will be travelling to Mauritius together, as he has fortunately also got a great position out there to challenge him, my ex-boyfriend abruptly ends the conversation and bids me a fantastic life.


I could not resist responding. “So, now in your eyes, I shouldn’t ever talk to another man especially one I’ve been intimate with?”


“No,” he replied, “but I’m sure your boyfriend would not appreciate it if I contact you.”


At this stage, I couldn’t help but wonder what did my boyfriend have to do with who I speak to or who wants to speak to me.


But what is the point in any of this…


No man and woman can be friends if one still has feelings for the other or is still harbouring a regret for letting “The One” get away.


That’s always baffled me.


No one simply gets away. And how can anyone regret someone leaving especially if you are true to yourself and your lover? If you are not true then only you are the fool and cannot ever be with surprise.


People end relationships for many reasons but the crux of a breakup is that it is no longer right for them. Needs are not being met and or needs change. Sometimes the change isn’t what the other desires or it comes as a huge shock, and they are unable to meet the changed needs – a distance then starts muscling its way in between two lovers. One can only pretend that everything is okay for so long until he or she simply cannot take much more. Why pretend? Don’t get me started on pretence…


Oh and my ex-boyfriend still wishes my mother a happy birthday and Mother’s Day, which she truly appreciates. How sweet!



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